Icemageddon

Dear Western Washington,

I am glad I am not you. Not because I am relaxing on a warm tropical beach right now and not in Western Washington but because you are all wimps.

I braved the snow yesterday not once but twice and made it out both times alive and well without any incident. Yes the snow was tough to get through and I would have much rather sat at home watching television but someone in my house had to go to work. I Went and I conquered the shit out the snow at the Tacoma Mall. Yes we closed early and I went back home with my tail between my legs, not in defeat but to stay warm. Then later in the day after being home for a few hours we decided that the snow was not going to make us it's bitch and went out for a nice evening of pool and Big Buck Safari. Not only did I Kick some Kudu ass I had a fun time watching the six televisions and the numerous games of pool.

Snow - 0, Nick & Company - 2

Today I woke up early and I showered and I got ready for the trek to the "office". I put on gloves and a hat and all sorts of other warm gear and started the chiseling the inch of ice off of the car. I had the car on defrost and was using some de-icing spray and still the ice had me bested. So I stepped it up a notch and used my Thu'um of Fire Breath and de-iced the shit out of that car. After shouting the ice off of my car I took a seat in the drivers seat about to drive away into wonderful Tacoma Mall bliss when the radio announced the Tacoma Mall was closed. So I trekked back inside and had myself some wonderful Pancake breakfast. I then realized I had carbonated soda inside my car and I needed to get it out before it exploded everywhere and got everything all gross like. So I went out and proceeded to kick the ice off of my car (I apologize at this point if you thought the original car was mine and are confused by this last statement. The car I originally de-iced was my fiances car and therefore not mine). I managed to get the door open and the trunk cleaned off enough to get all the soda out but in the process I broke off my antenna all the way.

Soon after trekking back inside from my little soda adventure I got a phone call from work. Apparently the mall had opened today and someone was needed asap. I jumped into my jeans and was soon on my way to the mall. I did not slide once and I crushed the shit out of that ice like I was driving a steamroller over toothpaste tubes. I worked the whole day and was hesitant to make my way outside after we closed up shop for the day. I trekked to the car and found the ice to by pitiful in comparison to what I had encountered earlier in the day. Soon I was on my way to Fred Meyer where I purchased numerous flashlights and batteries, diet soda, spinach, and pineapple juice (Fun Fact: Pineapples grow on the ground not in trees as you would assume). After making my purchases I laughed as I watched others skid and slide on the icy ground as I expertly skated my way back to the car and home to blissful freedom.

Ice - 1 (for the antenna), Nick - 4