I stayed up late last night playing Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I was impressed with the game. A few flaws that I can get over (mainly no radar for enemies) but it was a worthwhile time and I am happy I did it. I didn't regret it for an instant. I snuggled into bed at 3am without a worry in the world. I had a plan to wake up at 10, take a shower, and maybe watch some TV (or play more Oblivion) then go to work by 1. I mean it was a well planned day. Play for 3 hours, work for 5 and a half and then come home and play for a few more. Little did I know that this morning would be the most disgusting morning of my life.
This is a lot coming from a guy who has picked up whole turds from toilet seats and bloated goats off the beach. I have scrapped rotting raccoon off of a log. My first day of work at camp I was sent to clean up the Rat Room. It is called the Rat Room because rats live there. In this case 7 of them had been poisoned and died and rotted on the concrete floor. I have grabbed chunks of diaper out of a dryer because someone forgot to remove it from the sleeping bag before washing it. So I can say without a doubt that this morning was the most disgusting thing I have ever dealt with.
I was first woken up around 5:30am by my fiance telling me that Stella, our dog, had eaten all the cookies she had made for her schools cookie exchange. I thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. Back into an innocent slumber. When I finally got up around 10am and went straight for the bathroom. A man needs to pee after waking up and I was excited for some breakfast. I did my business and walked back into the living room and noticed that the dog was just lying on the ground. Next to the dog was the grossest mess of dog vomit I have ever seen.
See the dog had eaten ALL of the cookies. I didn't realize in my sleepy haze at 5:30 that all of the cookies meant 109 cookies. I don't know if you know this but a dog can eat 109 cookies and feel fine for a while. A dog can even eat 109 chewy chocolate cappuccino cookies and feel fine for a while. It is when that dog decides to eat their breakfast that things start to not work right. I mean long story short our couch will no longer be the same for me. Neither will our shower as it had to be used for some of the cleaning process.
See the problem isn't that I had to clean up dog vomit. That was gross but doable. The problem actually came when I needed to take a shower for work. I had used it to rinse some things out (it had to be done) and I had to wash it out prior to the taking of the shower. The problem came when 2 minutes into my shower the hot water started to sputter out until I was sitting in an almost lukewarm shower without having washed anything but my face.
So you see the problem is not the dog vomit. I am actually exaggerating the ordeal to epic proportions. The whole thing stems from me wanting to take a normal hot shower to wash the gross off of myself and I was denied. I just want a nice hot shower.
Monday.
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