We had a discussion the other night about what the end of the world would be like. I of course wanted to know if that meant just the end of the human race, the end of life as we know it, or the end of the planet. I am going to assume that in the event of an apocalypse that most of human life on the planet will be destroyed. I don't like the idea of a post-apocalyptic world without a world (wouldn't make things like Fallout nearly as fun). So for your pleasure I have compiled a list, with explanations, of all the apocalyptic events I can think of.
Zombpocalypse
This is my favorite, and at times least favorite, of the events that could cause the end of the world. The problem with zompocalypse is the fact that we are ready for it. Yeah it would be hard to kill a zombie if it looked like somebody I loved and cared for but we know what happens if we don't take care of it. I give this a 7 on the likelihood scale and a 2 on the life afterward scale.
Robopocalypse
This one has the most potential as a scary world to live in afterward. Zombies are scary but robots are artificial and man-made. Think of the robopocalypse as the civil war but the south is all robots and they have bigger guns, soldiers that never sleep, and the ability to withstand a lot of enemy fire. I mean Terminator was almost prophetic in it's depiction of the future after robots rise up to destroy their human overlords. I give this a 9.8 for likelihood and a 10 for life afterward.
The Second Coming
This one is the most upsetting to me as the story differs as to how the rapture really works. I believe, for the sake of making it more apocalyptic, that people will be sucked out of their everyday lives into the kingdom of heaven. As this will most likely not happen to me I can say that this one might not affect me at all. That is unless I am on the highway or in an airplane, somewhere dependent on others for my continued survival, when it happens. I give this a 1 on the likelihood scale, mostly because I don't believe in the whole heaven thing, and a 1 on the life afterward scale because we want the worlds population to go down and this would do a damn fine job of that.
Nuclear War
Nuclear war sucks donkey balls. Radiation leaking into the soil and water causing mutations and sterilization does not sound like a fun Sunday afternoon with the kids. Yet how much of the world will really be affected by nuclear war, probably 40% of the livable land and we still have 60% livable land plus 70% of the planet is water and who is to say that all the missiles will hit land. Yeah we will lose a lot of lives, but these are apocalyptic events not county fairs people. I give this a 6 on the likelihood scale, as most nations would think twice before starting a nuclear war in this day and age, and an 8 on the life afterward scale, I am not ready to grow a fourth leg just yet.
Alien Invasion (AKA Independence Day)
Aliens must be out there. I do not believe that life can only be made in certain circumstances. I also don't think that aliens look anything like humans. The only reason we depict them as human is because we couldn't make monster movies in the old days without someone in a suit. If asked to describe an alien I would not be able to come up with something alien enough because everything I know is based on Earth fact. Who says some alien race can't live on super heated planets, breath in space, breath underwater (fish do it), breath some gas deadly to humans. I also think aliens have better things to do with their time then hang out abducting humans and performing tests on them. I also think that maybe we will never know. Likelihood of alien invasion 4 (although I wish I could make it higher) and 7 on the life afterward scale (can you imagine how mind blowing and mentally debilitating it would be to discover that aliens were real and had nothing better to do then destroy our planet).
Ecological Disaster
This is the one that Al Gore and most liberal, left-wing, democrats would have you believe is just around the corner. I think this argument is a moot point. The planet is a very resilient beast and proves to us every year when spring arrives that it knows how to bide it's time. The plants may die and the planet may get hot but something will survive, it always does, and when it is ready it will come back with a vengeance. I give this an 8 on the likelihood scale because it has happened before and we are not helping and a 10 on the life afterward scale (have you ever tried to live in a desolate wasteland devoid of plants and animals, didn't think so).
Armageddon
I know what you are thinking by that title, isn't Armageddon just another word for apocalypse. The answer is yes but I don't mean the word I mean the movie starring Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, and Liv Tyler. There is a very real chance that somewhere out there is an asteroid with Earth's name on it. Space is a huge place and I don't doubt that this is the way the world ends. I give this a 10 for likelihood and a 10 for afterward (if the dinosaurs couldn't survive it then how the hell are we supposed to).
Black Hole
This one sucks. I give it a 10 and 10 as I have no idea how black holes work but I am pretty sure there would be no way we were coming out the other side just a little dazed and confused.
Ice Age
This one could happen but technically speaking we are coming out of an ice age (earth years run a lot slower then human years)and so we would actually need to heat up prior to freezing again... This sounds familiar. I give this a 10 on the likelihood scale as it has happened numerous times before on Earth but only a 2 on the life afterward scale. Seriously if explorers could survive in the arctic for months at a time with their unsophisticated technology we should be able to survive for eons with a couple of nice jackets from REI.
Ragnorak
I do believe that the battle between the Gods would be something epic to behold. The deaths of such heavyweights as Odin, Thor, Fenrir, and Loki only makes it that much more epic. Then we spend some time in Waterworld (I think I subconsciously have a thing for Kevin Costner) and then the planet will be repopulated by two human survivors... wait only two? Who gets to be the two? Do we draw straws for it? I think this one might suck the most. I give this one an 11 on the likelihood scale because it is just to fantastic to actually be possibly and a 0/10 on the life afterward scale because if I was not one of the two then my life afterward would be pointless but if I was one of the two then my life would rock afterward. I mean it would be down to me to have sex to save the human race. I would be the father to all humankind.
I think that should do it for now. Did I miss one? Would you like to rate them yourselves?
Monday
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