Dearest Stephenie,
Besides the fact that your name is spelled weird, and wrong according to spell check, I have nothing against you as a person. If we were to meet on the street and start a conversation I would probably think you were an okay person. We might even become friends in a situation like that. Yet just because you are a nice person and probably would never intentionally hurt someone I believe that you are destroying our nation, nah, the world.
I recently had the "pleasure" of watching the movie Twilight. I know that it is a movie adaptation of your novel of the same name and is not exactly what you put down on the page. I understand that it was also the worst of the films and everything about it should be taken with a grain of salt. Yet I just can't understand why you have done this to me and the rest of the world.
First off, your main character is completely without any of the required faults and foibles of main characters. She has no defining moment that shows the audience who she is. She never goes through a significant change, the thing that is required to write a best-seller, although this could be argued with the "success" of your books. I take that back, she does go through a change. She goes from being interested in Edward to in love with Edward. Not a significant change but still technically a change.
Second, Edward is a hundred year old vampire, and I use the word vampire loosely here. I understand that you may not have ever had the opportunity to read/watch any media about vampires and therefore do not know how the whole thing works. 1) Vampires are soulless blood-sucking fiends. They are classified as undeadius vampirous and rarely are they more then that. 2) Besides Dracula (which is something you should have used as inspiration for your books or even a decent Google search, instead of The Book Of Mormon), who can walk in the daylight, without sparkling mind you, most vampires are unable to walk in the daylight without BURSTING INTO FLAMES!!! Edward SPARKLES when he walks into the direct sunlight? What the fuck kind of messed up shit is that? This right here is enough for me to want to take all the copies of your books blend them up in a very large blender and force feed you the pulp shit that you have dumped on our doorsteps and, I use the word dump as in take a shit on our doorstep, lit on fire.
3) Vampires do die if lit on fire but that is not the only way to kill them. You can stake them through the heart with a wooden stake. This is one that even children pick up as it is in our nature to fight and kill the creatures of the night (PS they are called creatures of the night because they can't come out in the day time). You may also cut off their heads. Ripping them to shreds and burning them is a helpful way to do it and I don't really have a problem with it but there are other ways that would not require Bella to rely so heavily on Edward.
As well, what is the deal with Jacob? I mean he is a nice guy with no serious issues. I mean, yes, he is a werewolf but at least he is not the undead. Edward is cold and pasty, Jacob is warm and healthy looking. Edward expresses the want to "devour" Bella every time they talk. Jacob just wants to take care of her and make her happy. Edward is a stalker with over-protective tendencies. Jacob is a good friend just looking out for another good friend.
Also, why is Bella so enamored with a guy that is stalking her, he has been watching her while she sleeps since longer then they actually have known each other, and once they do become a couple she is threatened at every turn by his kind because she is different and feels forced to become one of them. It is understandable that she likes him before she knows about the stalking. Yet any girl with half a brain would never stay with a guy she found out had been sneaking into her room at night to watch her sleep. Hell, most people don't like it when a loved one sits and watches them sleep for any period of time. The reason being, IT'S CREEPY AS SHIT! Imagine a kind girl with some normal everyday quirks. She enjoys the occasional move and cheesy romance novel. She meets a guy and they are in love. They seem like a nice couple and everything is going fine. Then all of a sudden she decides she must convert to his religion, let's call it Bormonism, and have lots of Bormon babies and raise them all in the Church of Borman. Is that really love?
My last question is how you convinced half of your audience to be so in love with the obviously bad choice. I understand that Bella is an idiot, you wrote her, but I can't understand the girls (and some guys) that agree with her. Are you actually some kind of swami hypnotist that has convinced a bunch of girls that they must live their lives subservient to their man and allow him to constantly deny them love and affection just so they can get a few moments a year with his loving embrace? I guess this is a letter about how Jacob is the obviously better choice more then Edward. He is her own age, he is not undead, he wants what is best for her, and werewolves are cooler then vampires.
I actually only watched the movie because my family was and napped through some of it. I don't plan on reading your books or watching the other movies. I don't even have a real problem with it as I read awful books all the time and watch even worse movies. I also have absolutely no problem with Mormons and the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints. I don't even have a problem with your horrible "homages" to classic fiction as you are not the first, nor will you be the last, who does it.
I think the thing that bothers me the most and makes me hate everything that has made you who you are today. The one defining feature of your personality and choices in life that I just can't handle. you like Linkin Park. I mean you just disgust me.
Sincerely,
Not A Linkin Park Fan
Friday/Saturday.
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