Dear Black Friday Shoppers/Thanksgiving Lovers,
I get that you want to celebrate the harvest with your family. All those hours toiling away in the fields just to put some food on the table. Going out with your sons to find the perfect turkey so you could kill it, pluck it, and deep-fat fry it is tough work. I wouldn't want to go shopping after eating such a hard-earned meal. Your fore fathers didn't have to go shopping after they ate so why should you.
Even though Thanksgiving has moved dates so many times you would think it was a cheap whore I get that this is a tradition so old that not even the pilgrims knew where it originated from. I mean yes FDR moved the holiday one week forward in 1941 to boost the economy and that Canada and other countries celebrate it on different days and for different reasons but that doesn't mean that it isn't the most sacred of sacred holidays. If we were Hindu this holiday would be like a sacred cow for us and there would be absolutely nothing we could do to change it.
I get that getting up early on Friday to start your holiday shopping is also part of this tradition, along with the ancient game of football and the ceremonial Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. I am at least excited that the only sacrifice made on this day is the turkey and that his heart is not pulled out of his chest while it is still beating for no reason. The God's really do shine down on us as Americans when we celebrate this most holy of holy holidays. I hear Jesus's second cousin twice removed was born on this day.
I am sorry that some of you hourly sales associates have to start work at 11pm on Thursday, or for some 9pm and you may have to sleep through this most precious of holidays. I get it as I have to start work at 11:30pm on Thanksgiving. This means sleeping through the football and parade and possibly missing the sacrificial rite that is the turkey "feast". Yet I don't really understand what your problem is. I mean you could sleep through the prep of the meal, who wants to be up for that anyway. Then after you eat the tryptophan laced turkey you can take a little nap before you have to get up and go to work.
Also Mr. Hardwick you are a seasonal employee at a large chain store what the fuck did you expect for the holidays, a bonus? I mean I work a a national chain store and expected to come into work around 8pm on thanksgiving and was only lucky enough to come away with starting at 11:30pm. I even get to work an 8 hour shift at one store, take a 9 hour break and possibly work another 5 hours at another store. What is your schedule on thanksgiving/black Friday? 11-7 at the fucking Target. What do you do there? Are you a cashier? Do you stock the back room? I mean you can't wake up at a normal time, have a good meal and some camaraderie with the family and then take a nape from 7-10 and go to work?
I get it, you proposed to you girlfriend on Thanksgiving and you want to spend time with your family. Guess what my fiance did after I proposed to her at 9pm. She got up at 4am and went to work. Guess what we did on the one year anniversary of our proposal. I worked and she was actually at her mom's house planning the wedding. While we are talking about holidays lets talk about birthdays. Guess what I did for the last 6 birthdays. That's right, I worked my ass of making money so I could support myself and my eventual family. Should I talk to you about New Years, because I have worked the last three of them without fail. the 2009-2010 and 2010-2011 New Years celebrations I couldn't even leave my job to go out at night.
So Mr. Hardwick, and all the other retail employees who signed his petition, shut the fuck up and deal with it. There is record unemployment in this country and you have a job. It may be seasonal, it may have shitty pay, and it may interfere with you holiday but starting work at 11 and bringing home a paycheck is better then not starting work and having to live on the streets. I do not sympathize with you at all and I never will because I am not a whiner nor a complainer about things that I see as a blessing. Yeah no one wants to work on the holidays but you are just being a shithead and I want nothing to do with you or your 80,000 shithead friends.
Sincerely,
A Retail Employee
Thursday.
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