Where In The World Is Fresh Perspective?

When I was a wee lad of a younger age I remember a show called Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? I loved the show. It was like clue meets trivia and funny characters. I remember playing the game on my computer. We even had a bored game that we played all the time. So in the style of finding random places in the world I have decided it's time to share a little bit about where my audience is coming from.

I didn't realize that there were so many people in the world reading this blog. Especially 7 people in Latvia. Now the 7 people might just be one person 7 times but that is still 7 hits from a country that has only officially had independence since 1991. A country with a little over 2.2 million people and 7 of them are reading about the life and times of me here at Ridgemont High... wait I think I got that wrong. 7 out of 2.2 million is about .000003% of the population.

I also have 7 readers in France which is sort of amazing because I am likely to write a God Bless America rant any day now. Although I think I may have 7 readers in France because I happen to know 2 guys from France and just so happen to be friends with at least 1 of them on Facebook. So I guess it comes as no surprise that I would have a few hits from France. Although now that I think about it I should have a lot more hits from France as I know 2 guys from France and I am friends with at least one of them on Facebook and I always post a link on Facebook. Goes to show you who your true friends are I guess.

The one I think gets me the most is my 11 readers in India. I don't know anyone in India so this is pretty cool. That is .00000009% of the Indian population. I have a percentage of the 2nd largest countries population as readers of my blog. Sadly I think I am censored in China so I won't ever get a slice of that pie. Maybe I can sneak in by writing pieces about the loveliness of Tiananmen Square in the fall.

I am a little disappointed tough that I only have 11 readers in Canada, our neighbors to the North. Although just as I am likely to write a God Bless America rant I am just as likely to write something pretty negative about Canada. SIDE NOTE: There is a tire company in Canada that has been making coupons called Canada Tire Bucks for the last 30-40 years and places in Canada will take it as regular currency. Places that have no association with the tire company will take it and get a value for it. This would be like Americans using Tuxedo Bucks from The Tux Shop as money at the gas station. END SIDE NOTE.

I guess I am reaching a wider audience then I thought. Brazil, Malaysia, Germany, Russia, and this little place called America. Now if only Google would get on tracking which states in America I am getting readership from that would be great. Did you hear me Google? I know you did.

Thanks for the readership friends and I hope to be seen by many other countries in the near future so tell your pen pals.

200 OK

In HTTP source code a 200 is classified as an OK. It means that your request has been successful. As this will/is my 200th post I thought we could talk about success for a minute.

Some people would grade success as having a plethora of followers. Getting hits in the thousands or the millions on a daily basis. Some would say it is successful to just get your words out there and be heard. Yet even others would say that success is measured in the eye of the beholder and that there is not real definitive way to measure whether this blog is a success or we are successful in our lives. I say poppycock to all of that.

The dictionary would say that success if the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. Don't you just hate it when you read a definition and have to think about whether or not you need to look up the words in the definition to best understand it. Basically what the dictionary says is that it is when you can stop doing something because you have reached all your goals. What was my goal when I started this thing anyways? Time to go back in time and figure out what it is that got us all hooked in the first place.

So it all started with me not liking people at the movie theater (didn't I just talk about that last week?) and it proceeded to be mostly about movies (Highlander Reboots, Harry Potter, Die Hard, Terminator, Superman, Batman, and occasionally zombies). We had that little trek into the apocalyptic wasteland that was my mind. Then a new day was born and now we have this wasteland that is my blog lately. So what was my intent when I started typing one day back in June?

Who knows but you some of you seem to be reading so I must be doing something right.

Another Tuesday means...

Polyfigmatusoimagalethane

Poly - meaning many.
Figmatus - meaning figment
o - meaning of.
imaga - meaning imagination.
lethane - the ending to any good polymer.

In high school I was given an assignment in my Honors Chemistry class to study a polymer and report back to the class. I as any good honors student would of course not finish the assignment. So in the last hours of the time frame I did what any creative person would do. I made something up and I have to admit it was pretty damn awesome.

I don't remember the story outright but I do remember it involved Men In Black, Star Trek, Star Wars, and a whole slew of other characters. They had my help saving the universe from certain destruction. I was the savior of the people and in my twisted teenage mind I got an A for my assignment. In the real world I was offered an F or a chance to transfer out to a non-honors class. I took the transfer and passed regular biology with a B.

Now as much as I think imagination is a great asset for any person to have I think I may have been wrong. If I had put half as much effort into the project as I did the story I wrote then I might have been able to stay in chemistry class. Now this is something I didn't want anyway as I was not a big fan of chemistry. Don't get me wrong I think science is cool as much as the next person but chemistry is just not for me. I did wind up coming out of it with a fun new word to say though.

What Not To Expect From the iPhone 5

It's that time of year again. Time for Apple to call to it's followers and ask for their sacrifice to the false idol that is their boards stock portfolio and bring forth the new iPhone. The dreams, hopes, and wishes of those followers have been heard across the globe. The hope for a bigger screen. Their dreams involve a harder case with more durability. The long for thinness and a reduction of bulk. The hopes and dreams will of course fall on deaf ears. If history is anything of an example then we all know that Apple does not care for those that so steadfastly lust after and admire their products and will do whatever it is they want in the production of their next iPhone.

If Apple spent time doing things that other companies did then they would not have so many ardent followers. So to think that just because all other smart phones are making bigger and bigger screens would drive Apple to do so is ridiculous. The market may say that people want the bigger screen but Apple knows that all they need to do is release a new item and the followers will return in droves. Those with bigger screens will suddenly realize that this is not what they want. They want a smaller screen and the ability to squint more.

The followers have not realized yet that Apple doesn't care about them. Apple will continue to make products in their own way. Products that are almost intentionally hard to figure out just so they can be different. Just so hipsters and punk college kids can be cool. The fact of the matter is that Apple doesn't care about it's followers and never will. Everyone with an iPhone could just as easily get an Android and do all the same stuff. Yeah you wouldn't be able to transfer your iTunes to your Android but that is the only downside.

Now I am not saying that I hate Apple and wish everyone had an Android. I have no real allegiance to either smart phone. I could care less about what kind of phone people have. You give me an iPhone I will use it. I have an Android and I use it. I just think that people need to realize that Apple doesn't care about their consumers and will continue to lead you on and release things like the iPhone 4s or the iPad 3. Expectations will always be high and the end result will always be lackluster. So why continue to get your hopes up when you know the end result is not going to stand up to your hopes and dreams.

The Things We Lose For Love

I had this whole post written celebrating the 200th post of this blog. I was excited and I wanted to spend some time having a little "clips episode" about where we have been over the last 200 posts. Then before I was ready to publish it I was trying to clear out some drafts I had started writing and never got around to finishing over the last few months but something terrible happened after I hit the delete button. I lost about 11 posts,

You see what happened starts with the original 200th post. I was inserting some links to previous posts in it so you could go back and refresh your memory (don't worry I left out any of the terrible Adventures in Apocalyptia. It was a dark time for all of us my friends, a very dark time...) and when I was opening them from my Blogger Dashboard it unwittingly checked the little box to the left of the title. So when I checked the boxes next to the two unwritten drafts (take that ShavedGolf) and hit delete I unintentionally deleted all the posts that I had linked to plus a few others I just looked at to see if I wanted to link to them.

HOLY F-ING SHIT!!!

So I had to Google how I could go about finding them somewhere on the Internet. which involved remembering all of the URLs for each post and attaching a cache: before each one and hoping that the Internet gods would show me some mercy for once and give me the things I had worked so hard for. I was lucky and I got most of the posts back and was able to get them posted back into the Fresh Perspective, III timeline. Yet now having a 200th post when I am only at 197 seems like jumping the gun a little bit so I have written this piece for your enjoyment before I redo the 200th piece and give you something awesome to behold. Okay so maybe it won't be awesome but it will be good and I will have links and anecdotes for you that you might enjoy if you have stuck with me until now.

PS It's Tuesday and you know what that means...

Avenge, Assemble, Fold

I made the choice to see The Avengers last Thursday night at midnight. I made the right choice but it got me to thinking about midnight showings and how in the course of my life they have really changed a lot. You see the midnight showing is supposed to be geek/nerd heaven. You dress up you go with friends and you all in all have a great time being accepted by everyone in the room as a true fan. That isn't the case anymore. Now I will admit that I have dressed up for one midnight showing but it was more of a joke then for appreciating of the movie I was about to see. I will admit that as a nerd I go not only to enjoy the movie as a source of entertainment but as an outlet of my true geek nature. The problem is that not everyone is there for the same reason.

I should go back to the beginning on this one. You see I love going to the movies. I like the popcorn. I like the seats. I love the chance to see everything in high definition and larger then life. A movie theater is a relaxing place for me so when I go to a movie and I don't feel relaxed I get upset. I don't like to hear drunk people proclaim "TOPHER GRACE!" every time a young white male walks on the screen. I don't want top hear about how you think your girlfriend is so smart at Words With Friends because you don't know how to Google stuff. I don't want to hear you laugh at someone just because they are excited to see the movie and want to show that in some way. This should be a communal experience and it up until recently it always has been. So I ask you how it became something different.

I sat in that theater, by myself, and I listened to the people around me while I waited for the movie to start and I didn't feel the love. I felt like people were just at the movie to say they saw it at the midnight showing and not because they just couldn't wait another minute for it. I feel like the ability to go to a movie with or without your friends and enjoy it as an experience and not just as a movie is no longer allowed. I am not feeling the love for the movie anymore and just getting the sense that people want to be able to trend on Twitter and be apart of the latest fad.

Maybe I made the mistake of going to the movie by myself at a small theater that not many people know about but I still think that those factors shouldn't matter. I think whether I go to see the movie at the IMAX or at a small rural theater with one screen I should be able to enjoy it in the same fashion and with the same caliber I would expect from a midnight showing. Am I upset because something happened at the midnight showing, no. Actually the crowd was a good crowd and everyone seemed top enjoy the movie and be overall somewhat enthusiastic about seeing it. I just realized that maybe I can wait from now on until a normal showing after a good nights sleep.

Hamlet vs. TSA

I applaud you dear Portlandian ad your desire to fight the good fight against the fascist regime that is the TSA. I think it is time for our people to stand up for our common inalienable rights and stop letting the TSA push us around. The unfair and unjust way they "randomly" screen the common American citizen has gone to far. You my friend are talking a step in the right direction.

We have lived to long in fear of attack or retaliation of some unknown crime. I say nay to thee and insist that American citizens ask the TSA to step up or shut up. Don't get me wrong folks I love security as much as the next American but I know when that security goes to far. We have to check every nook and cranny prior to boarding a plan but not a bus, boat, or train just because of one incident. Why does the TSA not monitor the people getting on and off Greyhound? I have been on a Greyhound bus and I was very worried about my general safety. So again I applaud your efforts in the fight my dear friend. I say we must stand and fight the menace that is "national security" and call it what it is bullying.

Screen everyone, or screen no one--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of inconvenience
Or to take arms against a sea of tyranny
And by opposing end it. To scan, to sweep--
No more--and by a protest to say we end
The heartache, and the outrageous tyranny
That TSA is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To scan, to sweep--
To sweep--perchance to fly: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sweep of TSA what flight may come
When we have shuffled off this Security line,
Must give us relief. There's the "respect"
That makes TSA of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of TSA,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat in a TSA life,
But that the dread of something in the skies,
That undiscovered bomb, from whose bourn
no traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make bitches of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
The hairy Portlandian! -- Troll, in thy orisons
Be all their sins remembered.

I figured Hamlet and Shakespeare had a better grasp of the situation with TSA then I ever will so I "borrowed" Hamlet's speech from his autobiographical one man show. Now if only our spokesperson were a little better looking this thing would be in the bag.